observations.

This is one of my favorites:

A man walks into a bar after a day at the office, sits down and orders a beer.

He grabs a handful of peanuts from a bowl on the bar while he's waiting for his beer, and as he starts to chew he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie, is that silk? Very NICE choice!"

Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could've been speaking to him. With a shrug, he pops a few more peanuts into his mouth.

Next he hears a voice, "Those shoes are stylin', my man. Are they Italian leather? They look GRRREAT!"

He whirls around to again but sees no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool.

A little wierded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts. This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks FANTASTIC! Is it an Armani? Very nice!"

He immediately calls the bartender over and says, "Look, I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes, and my suit look -- What's up with that? Am I GOING CRAZY??"

"Oh," the bartender nonchalantly replies, "those are just the peanuts."

"The PEANUTS?!?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him.

"Yes," replies the bartender, ". . . they're complimentary!!"