Free fun here

This is one of my favorites:

A man walks into a bar after a day at the office, sits down and orders a beer.

He grabs a handful of peanuts from a bowl on the bar while he's waiting for his beer, and as he starts to chew he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie, is that silk? Very NICE choice!"

Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could've been speaking to him. With a shrug, he pops a few more peanuts into his mouth.

Next he hears a voice, "Those shoes are stylin', my man. Are they Italian leather? They look GRRREAT!"

He whirls around to again but sees no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool.

A little wierded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts. This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks FANTASTIC! Is it an Armani? Very nice!"

He immediately calls the bartender over and says, "Look, I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes, and my suit look -- What's up with that? Am I GOING CRAZY??"

"Oh," the bartender nonchalantly replies, "those are just the peanuts."

"The PEANUTS?!?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him.

"Yes," replies the bartender, ". . . they're complimentary!!"

A couple of things...

Don't forget to check out the harvest moon this Friday night.

Pictures are coming, I promise. We are going up north this weekend so...

My brother John is getting married soon(October 21st to be exact).

I'm gonna hike a long long long hike in a couple of weeks so I'll either be dead or medivac'd for treatment...either way, there'll be pictures of it.

Keep checking and please feel free to comment (speaking to those who are lurking...sometimes even called cyber-stalking. Yes, I know you're there, you might as well comment and come out of hiding, you'll feel better and I will too, you know that creepy uneasy feeling you get just before you fall asleep and you just know someone's looking at your blog and not commenting...you don't? oh...)

jim

I really never gave any thought to space travel for myself...I figured until they give me a really good reason to go, I can just watch it on TV and look at the pictures.

Then I saw this:

http://www.earthsky.org/shows/show.php?date=20060807

Now I want to go there.

Also, if you're into this sort of thing, here is some information on our upcoming Harvest Moon:

http://blogearthsky.blogspot.com/2006/09/in-2006-what-direction-do-i-look-for.html

Have a great day,
Jim

Check this out http://phoenix.craigslist.org/zip/212408812.html

What?? No description? Heart? Liver? Kidney? And in storage? That can't be safe. And what blood type, etc? And of course, who did they belong to? See? you can get ANYTHING on Craigslist. Even for free...

ST. IGNACE, Mich. There's one thing missing at a new Indian casino in Michigan's Upper Peninsula: gambling.

It was mistakenly built in an area where gambling is illegal.

The 36 (m) million-dollar casino and hotel complex opened in June. It has restaurants, a lounge and an indoor pool, overlooking Lake Huron's Horseshoe Bay north of the Mackinac (MAK'-ih-naw) Bridge.

But its 29-thousand-square-foot casino with 800 slot machines and 26 gambling tables has been unable to operate. The U-S government says part of the casino was built on land where Indian gambling is not allowed.

Members of the Sault Ste. (soo saynt) Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians are debating who was responsible for the mistake, with the tribe's current and former chairmen blaming each other.

**I thought this was humorous, especially because they're debating who's responsible. Who cares? It doesn't matter, they can't help you change the rules, I bet. Ha, I said bet.

Back Yard Friends

I was out in the back yard harassing Gus the other day when I noticed not one, not two and not even three, but four Garden Spiders. They are really a lovely creature with their distinct and detailed markings on their backs and their perfect looking webs. I took Sage out to show them to her (no, I didn’t do it to scare her, she actually asked to go see them!) and we had walked out under our gazebo where the most obvious and largest one was. She was on my shoulders for a good view. She was looking for them as I was pointing to them and I knew the very second she saw one because she squeezed me and started trembling like crazy. She wasn’t crying or all freaked out per se but she definitely was not comfortable being that close up. I could tell she wanted to be so brave though. She wanted to see them and she still asks about them. Mom won’t take her out there for some reason though…

Can you spot the one in the tree? I saw him and he was ten feet up there...look closely and remember, you never know who's watching you from up above...

Finally…hiking in Michigan. This morning, my brother Dave and I hike a small section of the North Country Trail. The whole trail starts in New York somewhere and ends up in North Dakota. We didn’t get that far, but we did travel about 11 or 12 miles along the trail. It was from M-20 (some of you Hesperians may know the parking area on the south side of M-20 between Stone Rd and M-37…see my map) down to 40th st. south of White cloud. Directly from M-20 to 40th st. is 6+ miles. The trail, by our best estimates, ended up being somewhere between 10 and 12 miles; nothing in comparison to the 4588 miles to the east and west of where we went today.

The coolest thing I saw today which unfortunately went unphotographed by me, was a bald eagle that Dave spotted from way out as we were headed to the M-20 trailhead. We were watching it as we drove closer and it flew down in front of us and grabbed a black squirrel out of the middle of the road, then proceeded to fly into a tree next to the road and began feasting. It was absolutely huge. It looked like it was 3 or 4 feet tall. It was just cool seeing a bald eagle in the wild and particularly here in Michigan.

So back to the trail…it is beautiful. We walked from about 9am until about 2 I think if I remember correctly, so that’s 5 hours straight walking. We actually only rested about 15 minutes total throughout the whole trip too. So, needless to say, I am rather sore tonight. Dave? Not even affected. He said no pain at all. I can hardly walk to the bathroom. Kudos to Mr. I’m in shape—Dave!

The photo of the random items is all the trash I picked up along the way.Dave had his pockets full as well and we likely could have filled up a large trash bag with more stuff we saw and could not handle ourselves. Don't do that if you go there or anywhere. Be responsible with our mother...

Well, we talked it over while we traveled and, even though I barely made it to the end of the 11 mile hike, we planned to hike the section north of M-20 to Nichols Lake which is right around 18 miles total. Yes, we can and will do it, too. Even if we can’t, we will.

It’s supposedly open to mountain bike and equestrian traffic to the north of M-20 (not so, to the south) and I want to see what it’s like as I would like to ride my bike (a mountain bike) off road, where it has never been. If it’s like the south part, it will be fun and it starting to looks like something I could enjoy.

So if anyone reading this wants to go on a good hike or wants more info on how to get there, etc. feel free to contact me. If you want to go on the hike and need or want someone to go with, I’m up for it again, as soon as my feet feel better…which will likely be shortly after my wonderful wife massages them for me tonight…

We found out recently that we are pregnant again. That is WAY cool. I was worried about my daughter growing up without any siblings. Yes, she has plenty of cousins and other various friends and relatives, but there's nothing like a good ole' sibling to make life more interesting, don't you think? Ask any of mine. I'm sure they would agree that, if not for their siblings (not any one in particular, but it would be any of or a combination of all of us) life would be a bore. Need more proof? Ask my mom, she'll tell you.

Life is good. I don't get out there and jump up and down but I am extremely excited that we are bringing another baby into the world. I can't wait to hold it and have a little tiny baby in the house again, finding out how little sleep you can get by on, taking naps because you got by on not enough and perhaps best of all, seeing Sage's response to the whole thing. She is going to be an outstanding big sister, I can tell.

Last night we got a swing set for Sage. I guess her new sibling will want to get in on the action too, eventually, but last night we were thinking of Sage when we risked being stung by yellow-jackets while tearing down the swingset that we set back up in our back yard. I think it's way cool. Thanks to Donny B for your cheap but skilled union labor.

That's an update for now. I'm just kind of soaking it all in, we're gonna be a "family" instead of a young married couple with a baby. What will we do with two of them? The same thing we do now only it will be twice as fun.

By the way, am I the only one that wishes they sold the Oreo cream filling by itself in a jar?

Wow. Did you hear about the lady who drove her motorhome for the first time to a ball game and on the way home, she set the cruise to 70 mph, got up and went to the back to make herself a sandwich? True story. When she crashed and was injured, she sued Winnebago and won $1,750,000. Also true. There must be something I'm missing because a jury of her peers...wait, her peers...now it makes sense. Oh well, anyway, she cashed in on her stupidity, or did she? Was this her plan all along? Hmmm...a lawyer or attorney had to gain some of this...33% of 1.75 mil is approiximately $577,500. Well now it really makes sense. The owner's manual doesn't say you can't do that. In fact, Winnebago adjusted the text in their manuals due to this. Crazy world we live in.

I love this world we live in. It IS crazy but it is so interesting. You never sit around thinking nothing's going on or that you're so bored because there's nothing to do. We have iPods, laptops, cable TV, jets, cars, you name it. We can go anywhere at any time and do nearly anything, be it legal or illegal, moral or immoral, depending on which country you go to to do it. All you need is money...which I don't have a lot of, so I guess I don't know for sure that you can go anywhere at any time to do anything, but I think you can. I bet Jack Johnson can. He must have a ton of money. I know he's got whatever percentage he gets from me buying like three of his CDs which is more than I've got in my pocket right now. But I've got enough.

I love life. I used to always wonder what it would be like to be a grown up and I used to think that it would be freakin' sweet because noone could tell you what to do. It is. If you're a kid reading this, (I hope no kids read this, please!) you will love your adulthood...or you should anyways. Even if everyone tries to tell you that you shouldn't, I remember bein a kid and I am happy with how much fun I have. I play in my yard with my daughter and have friends over and grill...noone tells me to be careful because the grill's hot, noone tells me it's late and I gotta go to bed on a Friday night. I am happy. Over all.

If your life sucks, or if you think it does, take stock. Think about what you used to dream about when you were a kid. What did you think your perfect grow up life would be? Forget about your goals and expectations for yourself for the moment. Think about what it used to be like and see if it doesn't weigh out on the side of satisfied. If it doesn't, do something different because this is your life and it's only so long here on erth and in those last years, days or moments, you don't want to be regretting or worrying about what you did, didn't or should have done. Like I said before, you can buy the old cartoons you used to watch and watch them any time. You can travel anywhere your wallet will allow you. You are in charge and you can do what you want to do. So do it and live the life you've always dreamed. (yes that's totally stolen from Emerson)

Well apparently I have crossed the boundary of sarcasm and some people aren't quite seeing the humor in my last post perhaps due to its hiding in the dark darkness of dark and angry humor. I spend alot of time writing all the chipper and funny stuff I thought I'd just let some angry funny stuff go. Sorry if you're not in tune with it or you just don't get it. There will be another sunshine daydream post coming I assure you. It was just the end of the day and I was in the mood to let one go so I did. I apologize if I've shocked or offended anyone (and by apologize I mean shut up and deal with it) and I promise to write more positively motivated and eloquently constructed essays for most of the rest of the time I am writing here which should be forever so...don't get lost yet.

OK,OK,OK!!! Here is a post. And I am not quitting the blog “scene”, thank you very much…thank you for all the faith to those who seem to want me to quit or whatever, I’ll be here a while. For everyone else who has patiently or not so patiently waited, thank you, non-sarcastically.

I guess I have no real explanation for my absence and I hate excuses so I’ll just take it like a man and blame it on someone or something else like I have been busy with a lot of stuff…nope, that won’t work, well then, I guess I’ll do the next more manly thing and insult you by saying I just don’t care about you enough to write sometimes. At least that way you can pretend I’m being honest with you.

At any rate, I’m here now spending my precious time writing some spindly garbage for you to pretend you love and write and comment about etc, etc. Do I sound cynical? Hmmm…well, I get that way sometimes and there’s nothing you or anybody else can do about it. Years of therapy, drugs, alcohol, sappy family moments, etc have not changed me in the right direction so I know any muddy junk you’ve got to throw my may won’t even leave a mark.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not angry or getting all weird, I’m just particularly sarcastic today. It could be the weather…nope. It’s gorgeous outside, did you hear me? It’s probably less than 75 out and sun abounds over the puffy clouds. I just feel like being rude. Let me self examine for a second…

I think it is Spike that has gotten me so irritated today. I was watching Spike while my wife was out of town and you know, for supposedly being the “man channel”, they really have some sissy stuff on there. Ok so what’s up with wrestling? Smackdown, WWF, ATF, WTF, WHAT EVER!!! Wrestling’s not real except in high school and college and the Olympics. If it is then why (now that we can have professionals in the Olympics) don’t you see Big Bob whats his face or any other of those steroid pumped spandex speedo wearing fruit cakes out there winning gold medals for our country? Why? Well for one as I have already stated, they are steroid pumped, automatically dq-ing them. And for another…IT’S NOT REAL! Get a clue, it is SO stupid that I can’t even watch the commercials without getting irritated.

That brings me back to the whole thing I’m here for…Spike sucks. Sunday morning church? Spike? What? And Star Trek? PLEASE…don’t use the whole manly thing to advertise spike and then show Star Trek reruns. That’s just wrong. Save it for the G4 geek channel. And I know I’m gonna get some feedback here but I’ve never been a fan of the whole Three Stooges stuff. It’s like a cult thing where people watch it just because other people say it’s good. Whatever.
I don’t buy it.

So Spike does have it’s good stuff like CSI: Las Vegas, UFC and then the post church 4x4/motor/hotrod thing which is entertaining. Also they do grace us with some Bond occasionally and they do great things with TV but why the fat? Trim it off, I say. Yeah yeah, who am I to tell someone to trim off the fat…but I don’t get paid millions of dollars to be slim either, and I am trimming off some fat anyway, just ask my belt and my big pants I don’t wear anymore, so there.

So what have I been up to instead of writing you? Outside of watching way too much Spike I have been on a few good bike rides, put up a fence for the back yard, got a dog, lived without my wife and daughter for two weeks, had a barbeque and put a workshop in my basement. What’s not manly about that? Spike ought to have a show about me. It could take the place of those weak Star Trek reruns or the lamo Three Stooges shows. Save those for the stupid cartoon network which is worthless all hours that they aren’t showing [adult swim].

I could be a reality show. A really boring reality show where the guy complains about the network he’s on while making millions from it. If it got too boring there’s an old truck out behind our warehouse and I could weld something to it and smash some stuff up and jump it over some other stuff. That would be freakin cool. Get guys with manly trucks and have them do manly stuff like pull out a stump or haul something ridiculously heavy. You know, use the winch for something besides making your truck look tough.

I like the shows like the monster machines or whatever where they do ridiculous things like move trains or old brick three story buildings all in one piece. That’s manly.

Friday Robinson Cartage is hauling thirteen 140’ bridge beams to Detroit to improve our road and highway system. That’s manly too. They’re so long they gotta have a steering axle on the back to get around corners. Back in the day they used to hook one end of the beam to a truck and the other end to another truck and one of them would drive (or get pulled) backwards down the road and then they could steer around corners. Now we have hydraulic steering trailers that stretch indefinitely and have a wireless remote that a steerman operates from a vehicle driving behind the whole rig. Not quite as manly but still beats whatever any of you do in a day.

Alright I think this will do for now. So go on and comment, let’s hear it and get it over with. Nowhere in here do I mention how perfect I am or anything like that so don’t go on and attack me personally, just the writing. It balances out the sissy stuff I’ve planted here previously. After all, the entire world is all about balance. If you want to know more about that or disagree then please email and I will explain or if I get enough inquiries, I’ll just post an explanation…I shouldn’t have to spoon feed you though, most of you are twice as educated as me…

Well what to say, what to say…I guess I feel like I should apologize for not posting sooner, but then, no…you should all be so fortunate as to even possess the knowledge of the existence of this blog and be able to come here to recharge and to be enlightened. All for free too. You know I love a bargain, and this one trumps them all.

Merely an explanation, NOT an excuse, I continue to find myself entirely wrapped up in things at home and just life in general. This week finally saw the completion of Jill’s room which I personally assumed would haunt us through our retirement, a new outbuilding (read:canopy) in the back yard, a clean, green yard, raspberry bushes (red and black) planted, my birthday…yes, my birthday was his week too, and finally, this week saw, along with a few other unfortunate onlookers and passers by, my daughter peeing on and streaking through the front yard.

Yes, Sage officially (as if there were any doubt) heeded the call of her genetic make up by removing her pants (and diaper), following her unprompted and (hopefully she didn’t learn this from anyone!) instinctive Scripps-like behavior and wetting the lawn, immediately followed by a sprint across the dry part, and all that immediately followed by her slightly, if at all, amused, camera wielding mother.

Typical of the Scripps throughout history, this behavior sans camera wielding mother, as a rule, doesn’t start until high school/college age and is rarely photographed as we are usually aware of the ramifications that may ensue when photographic or otherwise tangible evidence is readily available. Lucky for us, mom was able to capture the moment, or you and I would never believe that such a shy, humble and reserved little angel such as Sage could possibly be capable of such debauchery.

It is with great pleasure and pride that I present to you for the second time, the first showing of Sage’s butt. I’m sure she will no doubt show it several more times throughout her life (and I predict an America’s Funniest Video appearance for starters) but (no pun intended) let this be the one. Let this be the photo that friends, boyfriends, bosses and others at high times in her life laugh at and pick on her about. Let this one make Sage wish for the old days when there was only the negative and the photo to destroy, not like today where no matter what, she will never get rid of this photo without completely destroying way too much property than it could ever be worth. Let us do it out of love though, as so many will enjoy the laugh. And deep down, if not on the surface, she will love it, and the knowledge that we care enough to go through the trouble each time of printing, posting, projecting and basically exposing (again, no pun intended) Sage’s behind to those around.

So back to that birthday thing…I am 35 now. That was so old when I was young. SO old. Now that I’m 35, it feels the same as 25. Really. Although I remember what I did last night and 420 only means my birthday to me now, I still don’t feel like I thought I would feel when I was young.

The birthday was way cool. I went out to dinner with ALL of my siblings. That happens maybe once a year if we are fortunate. I feel so privileged to have one of those times happen just for me on my birthday. Thanks to you who are reading this and are my siblings. It was nice to look down the table and see you all and to look at the pictures of us all together. It was a great gift.

So this coming week will be busy as well. Jill’s sister Amy will be visiting from Fort Collins, CO. Having visitors is always exciting but Amy is always fun so I am looking forward to her visit and I know Sage is too. Of course Jill is as well but I didn’t think I’d need to spoon feed you…

All is well here and it’s only getting better as the weather warms up. I continue on my quest to work the neighbors hard this summer. I bought a $35 bag of weed and feed, two bags of grass seed on sale for $3, and mowed. They called Chem-Lawn. I figure by June our lawn will look like a golf course.

I kind of pity their son who will no doubt pay for his father’s insecurities as he is forced to mow, rake and mow again in order to “keep up with the Jones”. Yes I am aware that this is evil and unnecessary, I am not doing it for my neighbor, I just want a nice lawn. It just so happens that the guy next door doesn’t share my energy and enthusiasm for the same so it tends to make his yard look worse than it already is. I want to feel bad, but then I wake up, step out the front door and look at the nice green lawn I’ve worked for, and I forget about feeling bad. It’s all good. My lawn makes me feel good. There, I said it.

Other great and wonderful things are happening here as well but I choose not to expound upon them at this time for lack of room in this venue. For details, you may email me if you wish, or keep checking here as I may decide to divulge them here at a later date…but then again, I may not, so you choose.

It’s late and I have to get some sleep now, I’ve got to get up early in the morning to water my lawn (just kidding, I think…) and I don’t want to be late for work.

Thank you for being loyal readers and faithfully checking back each day or whenever you do. I hope however this finds you, you will find yourself smiling at the end. Have a wonderful and productive week and I hope it turns out the way you want it to.

So I’ve been a little underground lately. Flying under the radar I like to call it. You know, when you get all quiet and not talking to anyone, like when I used to be a secret agent for the research and development division of the porta-john company. Those were the days…flowered shirts, flip-flops, blue-blockers…I had it all.

So anyway, I haven’t really had the time to be writing blogs and stuff because (unlike the R&D job, I can tell you about this stuff) I’ve been working really hard on the house. So far I have ripped out carpet, scraped old dried up foam padding off the floor, sanded and stained and finished the hidden hardwood beauties that were there all the time, and built a bed out of old doors. All this took place I think in about a week and a half maybe. I know that doesn’t account for the total time of my absence but that's what has been taking up the majority of my energy, both thought and action…but worth it all so far. Not that writing here is not worth it or just as (if not more, sorry Jill) important to my sanity and completing the spectrum of balance in my surroundings…what the…? Hold on to your Guru, what am I talking about?

Sorry about that one. But you know, you guys are important to me too and it’s important to me to tell you what’s happening. And I honestly do feel anxious and incomplete when things are happening and I don’t come out here (I’m not going to ‘come out’ here, if that’s what you’re thinking) and tell you about them, even though I feel neglected at times due to the lack of responses at times, I still know you are all (both) out there eagerly awaiting the next droplet of spectacular if interesting text to fall from the keys of my laptop here in Grand Rapids.

I’ve gotten plenty of projects completed or started with intent to finish since the weather turned warm. Besides the aforementioned projects, we have painted a room, started the yard (a daunting task, I might add) and painted a steel bed we got when we hit the jackpot at a couple of sales in the area.

We found one in Allendale where everything was going to be demolished so the lady was pretty much giving stuff away. Old doors for $1, a wooden window screen for free, an old galvanized washtub for free, and I even got an old machinist’s tool chest for $7. I found a big wooden White House Coffee crate--$1. Just random how in Arizona we’d have paid (or NOT paid) a few hundred dollars for the stuff we got for $20 that day.

So anyway, the quest continues for fixing up the Roys Avenue place so we can have an enjoyable summer here in west Michigan. Looking forward to the weather and it is warming up nicely here. Rain and sunshine both today, really helps the grass grow and fortunately I got the winter mess all raked up and out of the way. I think I’m going to make a compost bin and use it for our garden this and/or next summer. Lots on our plate and we are just getting started so keep your eyes peeled (love that CB lingo from the 70’s--thanks mom) for more posts on our progress and adventures.

By the way, it’s scheduled to hit 95 in the valley this week? No thanks! 70s here and LOVING IT! Windows open at night…ahhh…good ole Michigan weather.

Be nice to each other!

Sorry for no pictures, check back soon though.

Occasionally it is programmed genetically into my feeble mind to take back roads to places that it makes no sense to take back roads to. Much to the chagrin of my wife who sits next to me, teeth rattling and wondering, “Now why is it that we aren’t out there going 75 plus miles and hour on that expressway that the state has paid millions of dollars to build and maintain?” She tries, but I know she couldn’t possibly fully understand what causes me to do such things. I’m not even sure. I don’t dislike it at all, I enjoy every second of it, but I don’t know exactly why it is that I do this.

The other day I drove from Fremont to just east of Hesperia. A trip that would normally take one about fifteen minutes, took us a bone jarring, clock staring forty five minutes to conquer. For those of you who are not familiar with this area, or are and still don’t know where I am talking about, just read this and imagine where it might be. It’s not that important to know where I went, but if you know where I went, you’ll appreciate it even more.

First I left Fremont via Green Avenue and headed north. Then I turned right on one of those 44th, 32nd, whatever streets that run perpendicular to Stone Road and Maple Island Road, I just wanted to get over on Stone Road so I could drive past the old farm I grew up on and see how it’s changed.

By the way, they cut down the gorgeous White Pine (hello, state tree?) that was in the yard adjacent to the blue pole building. Those of you who have been there remember it as a haven from the sun on a hot day during a good basketball game. Others will recall the day dad chained a full load of railroad ties to it and drove off in the truck. Much easier than unloading them by hand, and way more fun to watch, too. I bet the people living there now always wondered what made that crazy scar all the way around that tree.

Past that we went straight at the corner of M-20 (One Mile) and Stone, curving around past Baron’s old place, past the octagon house and finally north on Green Avenue again over the Green Avenue bridge (famous for a nice cool shady dip, jump off the bridge if you dare, after haying all day, or whatever the occasion). Someone who reads this might remember when we all took off in a hurry to get there and I forgot to strap down the windshield frame on my Jeep and just as I remembered to…SMACK! It uprighted itself. Good times.

So then we went up to oh say Three Mile and headed west past John Muckey’s and the Norris’ holy-crap-they-got-a-huge-dairy-farm and over to Dickinson Road. North on Dickinson, here’s where the fun began. I went straight (you heard right—read right, straight) at Glomb’s Corner toward (now you who don’t know, don’t laugh) Mountain Hill. I have climbed Mountain Hill many times. The difficulty in continuing on Dickinson through to Five Mile is not Mountain Hill; it is after Mountain Hill, at the top. Ruts, mud, rocks, you name it, they’ve got it. Now don’t get me wrong by thinking that Mountain Hill is not a challenge. To the guy in a stock Jeep, which I have repeatedly been up it in, it is a formidable opponent. But the real trouble does start at the top. You’ve got a better chance coming back down Mountain Hill than going on through to Five Mile, and I’ve had trouble getting down Mountain Hill too.

Needless to say, I did not subject my wife and sleeping baby to Mountain Hill. The first road to the south of it, I headed west again. Fortunately I have four wheel drive because this road, Five Mile I think, was pretty bad.

But once down this road a little, we got our gem, the reason I take back roads. Well, the second or third reason anyway. I will describe it but you have to go back and look at the pictures to understand.

We’re out there. We’re several miles from any town, and a small one at that, and here up on a sloping hill to my right, I observe what appears to me to be a cave, no, a man made cave, more of a pile of rocks with a large, distinct hole in it. But next to it was a large rock.

We might have just driven past if not for my sweet redneck radar and vast back road skills. I turned around to verify my suspicions. Yes, it was what I thought it was: a replica of Christ’s tomb complete with a brightly painted cross nearby. For what? I’ll never know, unless someone who knows why (knows, not suspects) reads this and tells me. Then I’ll tell you. Promise.

No matter what the reason, it was just one of those “what the…!?” moments that really make me raise my eyebrows, tilt my head and say…nothing. But what do you say?

This my friends is merely one example out of hundreds I have of strange and bizarre things I’ve found while out taking the back roads. Is it me? Do I have good/bad timing or and just happen to be in the right place at the right time to find things like a huge sign for a daycare facility in the middle of the woods at a deer camp? I have probably forgotten more bizarre discoveries from back roads than truly interesting ones that I have seen on “main roads.”

Taking back roads is easy for me. I know which direction I need to be and I just sorta guess my way along until I get there. Map? Of course. I’m not a canine. I need help and when Jill gets that look on her face (actually the side of her face or the back of her head as she turns and quietly asks her window why we are doing this), I need to have a plan B. An “out” if you will. Hence, the map. Don’t be afraid to head out.

So as I bring this all together, of course I’m gonna draw a parallel and get all philosophical on you. Sorry. If you don’t like it, simply enjoy the comedic (if any) value of this.

When we do things the same every day or every time or the same way other people do it, it can and does get boring. Like following a map, the easy way or the quickest or the simplest, may not always be the best, most satisfying or the most interesting. Don’t be afraid to spice things up by putting your own flair into things. When I drive home from Hesperia, ask any member of my family and they will tell you there are a hundred different ways to get to or from and a million combinations of them all. And I utilize them to lower the boredom factor.

Do things differently. If your job sucks or is a blast and you want something more, don’t just be an idiot and do something drastic, change yourself or the way you do the things you do and take a back road to get it done.

I don’t know if that made sense but I just had this floating around in my head for about a week now so…yeah, that’s pretty much it. Oh, and to those who were paying attention, I finished my way down Five Mile over to Maple Island road, headed south and drove past the swimming hole, over the bridge and into Hesperia. Then we headed west again right there by Ed’s and out of town past Vida Weaver park past those amazing and incredible stone castles that someone (does anyone have any information on these?) stone castle things on the south side of the road and on out to 192nd (a.k.a. Walkerville Road) and up to my brother Dave’s house where they were waiting and wondering what took us so long because they did the same trip in about fifteen minutes. Jill was happy to be there. I was happy to have gone there.

What defines a redneck? I’m sure online somewhere—anywhere, one can find a “definition” of redneck on some joker’s website who does doesn’t really understand. Someone who sees people on TV on COPS or on CMT or even at Country Thunder and assumes instantly that they know those people’s life story, no doubt due to their vast knowledge, educated by endless (worthless?) hours of MTV, Joe Dirt and Raising Arizona to name a few schools that may have laid out the groundwork for the world to view, or begin to view, the redneck as a part of society.

Nicer and less dark than the title of “white trash”, redneck lends itself as a label from the stupid idiot type of simpleton of Joe Dirt on up to how cool and hip it can be in any Big and Rich video. The problem is that many people’s definition of a redneck includes a lowered IQ. I don’t think it is possible to simply entrap redneck as any person or group of people. I think redneck is a thing or something, and people may “do redneck-ish things” rather than “be A redneck”. Does anyone see where I’m going here? (well not where I’m going but where I’m coming from, you couldn’t possibly begin to fathom where I’ve been or where I’m going)

Even I tend to lump people who I don’t understand together with low IQ, such as racist folks. No matter what the context, I always parallel racism with stupidity, and I am even sure that there are really really racist people who are quite intelligent. Hitler was, wasn’t he? I don’t know, I’m not totally knowledgeable of things Hitler, although that would be something interesting to look up someday.

The other day while I was smoothing out the freshly poured gravel in my driveway with a snowplow attached to the front of a rusty Dodge pickup with a construction rack in the back, I couldn’t help but be self conscious of my position. As people drove by I wondered, “Do they think I’m a redneck? White trash? An idiot?”, and my neighbors, what do they think? I looked over at their rusty 1984 GMC Safari van next to their 1978 Dodge motor home and figured they probably didn’t care and in fact were probably wondering why I didn’t plow their driveway for them this winter.

Of course I don’t consider myself super intelligent but I don’t consider myself stupid either. I am still pondering this question and may never really answer it wholly. I think that I, along with so many others, am a product of my upbringing. I didn’t try and be one who said I couldn’t wait to get away, etc. I love where I grew up, I love those who affected me and still affect me today.

Because I cannot afford a sweet road grader or a tractor with a back blade and choose to use a borrowed plow truck to grade my driveway does not make me stupid or does not define me. It only shows that I care about my driveway.

The next time you find yourself putting someone into a category of any kind, stop and consider why. What is it about them that causes you to start that thought process without knowing them, “those type” of people, or any thing about anything for that matter…give it a shot and I bet it gives you new insight to yourself. I don’t know, it’s just a thought, just a blog post, and I’m just some guy.

My daughter, the dare devil. Her mom says she’ll have stitches before she’s three. The first time I ever got stitches was when I was about twenty five and I had a mole removed from my back. Not very dare devilish. Not that I didn’t do stupid stuff and get hurt. If my mom knew half the stuff I did I probably would have been to the doctor a lot and been grounded even more. You’d never guess that today.

So I don’t know where she gets it, but I hope she never grows out of it. Maybe not the whole climbing-up-on-things and jumping-off-from-things, but the whole risk taking thing? A pretty cool trait of hers so far. I may have more gray hair (I keep it short so you can’t tell right off, and it’s harder to notice my hairline at all, let alone that it’s receding quicker than claims adjusters in Louisiana) but I truly enjoy seeing her fearlessness.

Testing the waters has not been a forte of mine for many years. I used to push the envelope with my parents to get their attention but once I was an adult, I realized I am responsible for my actions, success or failure. I mostly choose the safe route, something I should do less of…(do I smell another blog post?)

I really hope she keeps it up. Not only is it a source of entertainment for those around her, it is something that will help her in her life to be a strong and confident individual. But I wax poetic. If you were the parent of this awesome little person, wouldn’t you?

Saturday. I love Saturdays. They are a break from the week. They are not the week end, that’s Friday. They truly are a holiday, one that occurs weekly. But we often, like our employers, take them for granted (“hey, we need ya ta work SATURDAY MORNING”) We who have children miss them, the sleeping in, the all-nighters, the spontaneity. You remember that which I speak of. We who ARE kids miss the “good” cartoons like Schoolhouse Rock, the Superfriends(“shape of, an ice sheet!”), the REAL Looney Toons, including Road Runner, Bugs Bunny, Speedy Gonzales, and others who have been nearly forgotten.

Today however, we relived the past, as best we could. We got up before Sage (well, after she got up at 2:30 and came to bed with us (see:teething molars) and went to a couple of estate sales and the local Habitat for Humanity ReStore (thank you, Amy and Tim!) If you’re going to do any work on your house or need appliances or furniture, you likely have a ReStore near you.

We spent a couple bucks on stuff we didn’t need and just had fun together. One of the highlights right off was people’s inability to spell the word accident. The first sale presented us with a sign on the door that warned “not responsible for accedents.” That was amusing. I have been to an estate sale or two in my life but have never seen a sign on the front door like that before. So, the next sale was even funnier because again there was a sign, only doubly humorous as it cautioned “not responsible for accents.” I’m not sure what that meant but it still is cracking me up.

Then we went down to a little East Town shopping district and hit a bakery for some hot chocolate and then went to some little shops in the area. Great place to go.

All this before 10:30. Then back home to finish our “to do” list. The weather has been so incredible here that it almost felt like spring cleaning. While we drove around in the sun shine today (well, we were in the Jeep, but the sun was shining on us) we had the sunroof open and the stereo cranked up to Jack Johnson’s latest, the Curious George soundtrack. (those of you who read Jill's blog will remember) We got a lot done on our list and we are starting to settle in here…I know it’s been nearly five months but now we are having fun living in a house and beginning to make the adjustment from apartment life. We can paint, change fixtures and decorate here. We’re loving it.

I am really looking forward to the summer Saturdays when we can do yard work. We have big plans for our yard.

If you don’t get the Saturday “feeling” then try to soon. Maybe it’ll have to be a weekday, but try to. Take a day off from the norm (no offense to those married to Norm) and watch some cartoons, hit a small bakery, some thrift stores, and catch up on yourself. Get your to-do list shortened (by do-ing it, not erasing half of it, silly). Don’t have a to-do list? Get one, they keep me focused, but maybe you don’t suffer from ADD as far as you know. If you’re working for someone else, you’re shouldering their dreams, their eternal Saturday if you will. Don’t forget about your dreams and your Saturdays.

The past few days I have been thinking about politics and how ridiculously inept I feel when it comes to conversation regarding politics and government. While I read (and re-read) forums, articles and papers on the status of our often untrustworthy leaders, by the time I’m done I still feel like I’ve just read Excel for Dummies, like it was easy enough for me to understand, but I didn’t. Am I the only one?

Okay so I only graduated from high school (and a very small one at that) and attended only community colleges thereafter. But it seems like less educated people have a grasp on the whole thing. Or at least they have an opinion that sounds like they know what they’re talking about. Maybe I ate some lead paint as a child? One too many blows to the head? Too many drugs? No, others who are involved or are knowledgeable on subjects regarding political philosophy have certainly had the same and worse inflictions upon their gray matter. What is wrong with me?

When I read through forums, I get dizzy from the words I read. Do these people actually spend each day reading articles from the people they quote? Do they really know these things or is it merely their opinions combined with an agile vocabulary coming out in their writing?

I realized recently that reading, responding and attempting to engage in conversations about politics and policy and issues currently affecting us today only reminds me of how uneducated and stupid I am in these areas. Not that the lack of prowess in this area is a direct result of my uneducated mind, but it seems to make me remember that I have less education, which bothers me from time to time.

I plan to continue and finish a degree…sometime, but I have no immediate plan to do so. Work, family, vacation. Too much enjoying the now to put away for then.

So what’s a guy to do? Often while reading, I get the feeling that the “right” loves me the way I am, religious, uneducated and uninformed. That way they can sneak stuff right past me. But wait, here it comes…the “left” may be working to degrade the morals of our country disguised as freedoms and liberties. Either way, it seems to me like I’m being “sold” something and paying for it later, like a Trojan horse. Neil Young said “they give you this, but you pay for that.”

Now with the voting machine stuff going on, it makes me not want to bother voting…but is that another right wing scheme to get me to not vote? Am I overly paranoid? Not in general, I don’t look over my shoulder or check behind the shower curtain when I go into the bathroom. What a mess, and what a dilemma. Let’s discuss. Do you have an opinion? I am totally lost at this point and worry and wonder where this country is headed and where it will be by the time my daughter has kids…

OK so for all of you who do not believe in ghosts, here is the scariest thing that has ever happened to us. Driving down an old country road (192nd or “Walkerville Road” to those who know or care to know) we saw some turkeys up ahead and decided to slow down and take some pictures of them. Apparently the third turkey had passed this way before, unsuccessfully. Yeah. So that was pretty scary. I would have figured the first time I saw an apparition it would have been of human origin. And you might think that just because it was a turkey, and in relatively good shape, it was somehow less intimidating and therefore less of a frightful ordeal to be face to face with the undead. You’d be wrong. We all sat in silence and observed this thing crossing right there in front of us like the poultry version of the Abbey Road album cover. Only this time Paul really was dead. So for those of you craving another Jim blog-post and sadly checking each day and being yet again disappointed, this is why. It is rather unsettling to come in contact with those from the other side. It really shook me and I wasn’t sure what to do. I have been wondering why this turkey chose us. Why then and there did it decide to show itself? What did we do? What are we supposed to do? I can only imagine that it wants to communicate something to someone. Some unfinished business perhaps. We can’t figure it out. Any ideas? I’ll post again later…